A Post-Cancer Letter to Pre-Cancer Tamron

Writing a post-cancer letter to my pre-cancer self is something I’ve been wanting to do for a while, but every time I start to write there’s hesitation.

Being diagnosed with a cancer that you’ve never heard of at a young age makes a huge impact on your life from then onward. This letter is a very transparent perspective of my experiences with mesothelioma, in my own words.

Dear Tamron,

Girl, listen, remember how Grandma always says that everything happens for a reason? It’s so true and someday we will find out why. Congrats on your pregnancy and pat yourself on the back for remaining in college under those circumstances. What you don’t know now is that this will be a special pregnancy. Not only because it’s your first one, but this pregnancy will reveal something that is going to change the entire trajectory of your life.

I see that things are tough for you now but continue to follow your heart and listen to Mama and Grandma. They want to help and be there for you and your baby. What you don’t understand now is that they are worried and think you are too far away from them. 

Ever since you had your last ultrasound and they found a fibroid tumor it has worried Grandma so much she can’t sleep. Eventually, you will move back home, around family and great doctors, and deliver a healthy baby boy named Caleb! No need to worry about Caleb, he’s going to be good. 

I’m concerned about you, TT, because you are not ready for what’s about to come. You will have surgery to remove the fibroid tumor due to its increasing size. The tumor isn’t a fibroid, it’s cancer – peritoneal mesothelioma! I know, what in the world is that? It’s very rare and you don’t fit the patient demographics. It’s caused by exposure to asbestos, which is a toxic mineral that can be inhaled or ingested. 

We come from a long lineage of strong women and it’s vital for you to remain hopeful and not give up! TT, there will be some long nights and dark days, but keep pushing because there’s light at the end of the tunnel. When one doctor says no, go to another one who’s going to give you what you need. 

I know you’ll have your days when you ask, “Why? What did I do to deserve this?” But don’t give up. Keep holding on because what you don’t see now is that God is going to bring you out with a story of survival! 

Remember that this is your time to lean on your fiancé Sammy and your family. They are not against you, but for you. They have never dealt with a loved one with cancer, so it’s OK if they aren’t perfect or don’t do things the way you want them done. Give yourself and your family grace. 

Especially Sammy. He loves you. He loves you so much that he’s going to marry you. He is doing the best he can with what he has and knows how to do. He chose to stay and help you fight! There will come a day when your roles will be reversed, but that’s another story. 

It’s OK to be present even though you want to be cancer-free already. That day will come, trust me. Enjoy every moment and take it in. Face things as they come and don’t hold onto them. Feel the feelings and emotions that you are having right now and process them. 

Listen, you’re stronger than you know. This entire journey is going to prove it! I know you believe in miracles because you are going to be just that, a walking miracle. Your gift of speaking and writing will make room for you.

You don’t know it now, but you will share your story of hope and strength as far as the White House! So keep pushing. You are going to thrive, even after cancer. You will have more children – yep, three more children. Can you believe that? 

Tamron, I love you girl and I want you to know you are a force to be reckoned with!

Love,

Tamron

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